We live in a society that no longer holds long term relationships in esteem. Many years ago it was almost impossible to get a divorce so people lived out years in unhappy unhealthy relationships. Today people are encouraged to move on and out of a marriage or relationship at the first sign of unhappiness. Hopefully in the future there will be some type of happy medium. I say this because being in the social services field I see how break ups of marriage and relationships affect the children.
Most people say that they do not want the government or courts involved in their lives, yet because people refuse to take responsibility for the lives that they bring into this world we have had to develop child support laws. Because a great number of non-custodial parents want to turn their backs on their children the child support laws have had to become more complicated and punitive. The result is that many responsible people have had to pay more than their fair share because of those that refuse to pay anything. This results in hard feelings and again, the children are left to suffer.
Through my years of working in the social services field I have seen parents use their children as pawns during divorce proceedings and custody battles. I have seen parents that have little or no interest in raising their children fight for custody to avoid paying the child support to their former partner. Some children are able to tell me how much child support their parent pays and or how much they owe. This is information that should never be shared with a child. It stands in their way of being able to have a nurturing child parent relationship with both parents. The child support laws and the amount of support that is determined by the courts should be between the parents.
I have also seen parents question their children about what articles of clothing they have or what they eat when they are with the other parent. This is a way for them to determine if the child support is going to the child’s needs. I have also heard parents tell their children that they will not give them money for a special need, because that is suppose to come out of the child support payments. People that have brought children into this world need to step up to the plate and take the responsibility to follow the child support laws. Children deserve to have their care needs met, without fearing that they will lose the love or time of one of their parents. Children are not pawns for people to use to extract revenge on a former partner.
